Scavenger Hunt

The Biopsy, Graduation and What I've Been Up to So Far This Summer

It's been a while since I last updated my blog because I recently had a biopsy, graduated and then screwed up my internet because I am just that brilliant, but we got it working again and I'm ready to post all about the biopsy, graduation, the beginning of summer and all my doings.

The Biopsy
On the last week of school I was taken in to the Baptist Hospital Breast Center because the found  lump that takes up half of my breast, that they were almost positive was a fibroid, but wanted to double check because of its size and because the ultrasound was "undefined". All I know is that I was freaking out. I HATE needles. Probably more than I hate math and that's saying something. So I was freaking out even before the procedure took place. Then, besides a needle, since I'm much smaller than the average almost-eighteen-year-old, I guess they didn't give me enough numbing medication because I have a very high tolerance for medication and they did not take that into account, so as they were probing around in my boob, I was feeling absolutely every prod, poke and push. Needless to say it was not a pleasant experience and the afterward did not get any better. I had a painful itch for at least 2 days, there was throbbing pain sometimes, I apparently developed a hemotoma so my breast felt weird: all numb but still in pain (yes, I know, extremely oxymoronic) and it looked pretty raped what with all the bruising, the cut and the scratches the bandaging from the procedure had given me. All in all, very unpleasant. And then we got the call from the breast center. I don't have cancer. So we're all good :)

Graduation
Graduation day had to be one of the happiest of my entire life. I didn't really have time to hang out with any of my best friends, I barely took pictures, but I was finally free of Miami-Dade County Public School System and all of the crap that the name entails. A relief just kind of swept over my body and I was giddy, regardless of a recent biopsy. I looked great, despite the surgical procedure, I was sitting next to 2 close friends: Becky and Frank that I had known for almost all of high school. Graduated Kum Laude with a Diploma of Distinction and in the top 10%of my academy. My mom sobbed like a baby, I was sneaking photos on my phone, which, sadly I can't upload onto my computer, and it was just a great experience.

Summer
This summer I have been beyond busy. I started redesigning my room and now I'm actually doing it and we're only 2 weeks into the summer. My mom says I can be obnoxiously persistent when I want something. But I did it all the right way. I measured the whole room and then made a floor plan of what it was I basically wanted to do. Then I went furniture shopping. Priced around and found the best deals I could. I'm basically spending about $700 to redo my room completely: new furniture, painting, and decorating stuff, etc. Can't get any better than that. I've already painted and set up my new bookshelves and armoire. Today I will be putting in my new doorknob with a key (finally), taking off my closet doors which are in really foul shape and hoping that my bed comes in the mail so that I can make it and get my mattress sooner. So far this is what I have:

This is what I still have to get:

Here's basically what I'm doing with my room:

So I've been a bit busy doing that. My mom wants me to feel as comfortable as I can living at home for college so I can get the optimum college experience even though I'm not going away so this has been her graduation/birthday present to me.

The past makes you who you are, whether you want to believe it or not. Those little life experiences teach you what you need to know to become who you are to this day. They shape your new morals, your feelings toward people, your attitude on life even. You can't just delete a part of your life. It doesn't work that way. If not we'd all be innocent, naiive and absolutely nothing. No history, story, no feelings or thoughts. But don't worry, the people that believe they can actually do that, are in for a rude awakening because by "erasing" a part of your life, you are just lying to yourself. And lying to yourself hurts so much more than when the people you care about lie to you. They will come around. Maybe not in time to fix things with you, but at least you can be sure that the person you cared about is not stuck in a bad place for the rest of their life. And you can only hope that they don't lend up regretting the things that they say.

Confessions of a Compulsive Liar

Sometimes it's like
I don't even know myself.
The lies and the truth
Get so entangled
I don't know what's fact or fiction anymore.
And sometimes I know when I lie
But I'm conflicted.
Is it better to protect the ones you love
Or have them protect you?
Who am I anyway?
I'm not even sure anymore.
How much of the life I remember
Is true?
And how much of it did I make myself believe?
Is my life real or created
In my own head?
Fabricated by lies
And deceit
In order to gain...
Acceptance?
Love?
Attention?
Look where that's gotten me.
So go the ramblings
Of a compulsive liar
On the fritz

My letter to future graduating classes

*Picture found on wordpress*

Dear Graduating Class,

Senior year has come at last and I'm sure you are expecting it to be all fun and games and, for the most part, you are right. My senior year was the funnest year in high school. Expect the best and make the most of it. What people don't always remember is that senior year can be very VERY stressful. What with all those college applications, FAFSA, keeping your grades up while dealing woth senioritis and AP tests, senior year can seem overwhelming at times. Just remember,when you start freaking out, to calm down, take a deep breath and remember you're almost there! Everything will work out. Don't woory. Don't stress it. Time flies and, for some reason, everything that seemed to be such a problem in the middle of the year fixes itself in the last three weeks of school. These really are some of the best years of you life: when you are young, good looking, active and full of fun. You will remember them for the rest of your life whether you believe that yet or not. So have a blast and good luck with all your college preperations. Congrats on making it so far!

Love Always,

Danielle Fox

Changes

So I finally cut my hair short. I'd been thinking about it for a while but something always kept me from doing it: people telling me it wouldn't look good, my aunt discouraged me, my ex-boyfriend didn't like short hair, my hairdresser not wanting to cut it so short because of sentimental reasons, but I finally got the courage to say "Fuck the world, I'm doing what I want with my own hair." I'll post some pictures of it sometime in the near future but, for those of you who don't know me, my hair was really long, down almost to my butt and it is brownish sometimes reddish and very wavy. I call them mermaid waves because its almost like my hair has been crimped but in large waves. It doesn't look bad, but I wasn't too fond of it. Now I cut my hair to right at my shoulders and my shortest layers are above the shoulder. The top of my hair is much straighter then the bottom but if I blow-dry my hair then i get this sort of flippy thing going on that really reminds me of the movie Hairspray. I think it looks cute. Supposedly it makes me look taller, but the most important thing is that it is totally different. I've been way over due for a change and I wanted to start my changes before summer so that way I could have a totally new life by summer. It starts with the hair. Next is going to be my room. I'm going to clean it and then redo it, maybe even paint it. I think that I want to change it into a kind of dorm room style room with a studio for my artwork and photography. I was thinking of doing a loft bed with a desk and bookcase underneath. I'm going to get a new bureau and desk and bed, curtains, and maybe an extra bookcase and an easel?? I'm thinking about color schemes now and I think I want my furniture to be dark colored with yellow and white accents. This summer I will also be starting a garden and redoing my closet and maybe even redoing my wardrobe and changing my style. We shall see. But I do know that things are going to change. I've been putting it off for too long. And the people that don't like the changes will have to deal with it. But I know that if they are my true friends, they will accept me for whatever I decide to change.