Saturday, August 21, 2010

First Day of College Anxieties and Excitements

     Monday is my very first day of college at FIU and like all new roads that we take there are certain things that can seem exciting and make us stick our heads out the window so we can see what is out there, but at the same time we make sure that we drive with our hazard lights on just in case and keep our eyes peeled for deer crossing the road.
     I think that after going to Panther Camp I am definitely more excited about going to a new place and meeting new people and starting my life. There's all these cool things to do at FIU that  didn't know about and I'm excited about rushing sororities and movie nights and Homecoming and all that stuff. Getting my textbooks today just made the whole start of school seem so real though and even though I'm excited to be starting, I'm also super nervous that things aren't going to meet my expectations or that I am going to be miserable, friendless and fail out of college.
     I know some of these fears are unfounded. Even if, on the off chance, I manage to make no friends I will always have the friends I have now so me being friendless is total BS. I guess I'm just worried that everyone in my classes will be totally chummy and I'll be the loser loner chick sitting by herself never talking, which I know isn't true because it's me and I always have to be talking to someone. Also, after going to Panther Camp, I realized that I wasn't that much of a loser and I do have some social skills even if they are minimal, and besides that, I know a lot of people going to FIU! The chances of me never seeing someone I know are very low. I'm also scared about not doing well though.
     Another unfounded fear. I'm not cocky or anything but I know that I'm book smart (although possibly not in math). How many people buy their textbooks and actually skim the first chapter of the books to see what their classes are like and how the books are set up?! And I'm totally excited about some of my classes and ready to start learning new things and researching the things that interest me. I know, I'm a weirdo. I guess the point is, that the likelihood that I will fail out of college is very low so I really have no reason to fear.
     Starting new is so hard, but I have already done it three times in my lifetime and, besides elementary school, I have been able to make each and every one of those new starts exciting, memorable and actually pretty pleasant circumstances considering. College can't be all that different. In fact, the likelihood is that it will be better. So Monday I start brand new with a positive attitude and hope for betterment, excitement and new beginnings.


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